Out of the sky comes the silent beast,
Blocking out the sun with it’s magnificent size,
Soon it shall be it’s demise,
Though the beast knows this and has long prepared,
This is the attack that will be dared,
Then the beast starts dropping it’s offspring,
The giant’s alarm bells,
They do ring,
But it is too late,
The beast has already attacked,
An attack that no one will ever re-enact.
That day the beast attacked the giant,
The giant destroyed the beast,
But the beast crippled the giant,
And forever blocked out the sun.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Review: Age of Evil mod (Duke Nukem 3D - Atomic Edition 1.5)
Introduction
Instead of reviewing and old game I have decided to review a mod for an old game. The Age of Evil mod for Duke Nukem 3D - Atomic Edition 1.5. This will also be my first 3D person shooter review.
Welcome to the Age of Evil…
Gameplay
3D game, move all around. You also get things like Jetpacks and some kind of drug that makes you go really fast. There is also this thing called the shrinker which shrinks your entire body and makes it easier for enemies to squish you, this can also be reversed with you being the one of the upper foot.
Characters
Chris Quinn- The mentally unstable, thus very popular, hero of this tale. He goes around slaughtering people who he thinks are gun totting maniacs but in reality they are just simply bounty hunters trying to make a living. He resided in an insane asylum that had a total of 5 patients. He enjoys flowers and long meaningful walks on the beach.
Ben Croshaw- The main antagonist of the story. Croshaw stalks Quinn throughout the game with his snarly British accent. Every time Quinn kills a bounty hunter, Croshaw makes a sly remark. Every time Quinn tries to find a secret door, Croshaw makes a smart arse comment. Not only that, he also plays “House of Fun” throughout the entire asylum simply because he is pure evil. If Quinn wasn’t insane before he came to the asylum then he certainly is now. In the end it turns out that Croshaw is Quinn’s secret alter ego or something really lame like that.
Sarah Wright- The damsel in distress. She is who Quinn is looking for despite him never knowing her or even seeing her. In Quinn’s mind she is the perfect woman. In everyone else’s she is the woman who has fuzzy hair, who ate her parents with ketchup.
Rob Blanc- A man with no equal in terms of savagery and cunning. He is a former solder that went insane during one of his routine patrols when he found out that his entire squad was murdered. The problem is that his squad was not murdered, they had simply chosen to stay at the base while Blanc went on a wild goose chance. He was relieved of his post at Bonn and transferred to an insane asylum where he plots to kill everyone in the entire world using only his teeth.
Paul Grewald- A random bum they authorities pulled off the streets in order to fill the last vacancy. He is pretty harmless except that he eats rats. So he is harmless to humans but not to rats.
Enemies
Guys with shotguns are the main bad guys. For some reason they have red eyes and pale skin, this has led me to the conclusion that they spend their entire time in doors playing video games. The rest of the enemies are rare and can take a little more damage but are basically the same.
Storyline
There is none. It is all mindless, endless slaughter. I love it when game designers and porn directors stop the crap and get right down to business.
Events
Quinn looks himself in the mirror, pondering the questions that keep him up at night, like if there is going to be milk tomorrow at launch.
Conclusion
There is no conclusion, there is only mindless, endless slaughter.
Instead of reviewing and old game I have decided to review a mod for an old game. The Age of Evil mod for Duke Nukem 3D - Atomic Edition 1.5. This will also be my first 3D person shooter review.
Welcome to the Age of Evil…
Gameplay
3D game, move all around. You also get things like Jetpacks and some kind of drug that makes you go really fast. There is also this thing called the shrinker which shrinks your entire body and makes it easier for enemies to squish you, this can also be reversed with you being the one of the upper foot.
Characters
Chris Quinn- The mentally unstable, thus very popular, hero of this tale. He goes around slaughtering people who he thinks are gun totting maniacs but in reality they are just simply bounty hunters trying to make a living. He resided in an insane asylum that had a total of 5 patients. He enjoys flowers and long meaningful walks on the beach.
Ben Croshaw- The main antagonist of the story. Croshaw stalks Quinn throughout the game with his snarly British accent. Every time Quinn kills a bounty hunter, Croshaw makes a sly remark. Every time Quinn tries to find a secret door, Croshaw makes a smart arse comment. Not only that, he also plays “House of Fun” throughout the entire asylum simply because he is pure evil. If Quinn wasn’t insane before he came to the asylum then he certainly is now. In the end it turns out that Croshaw is Quinn’s secret alter ego or something really lame like that.
Sarah Wright- The damsel in distress. She is who Quinn is looking for despite him never knowing her or even seeing her. In Quinn’s mind she is the perfect woman. In everyone else’s she is the woman who has fuzzy hair, who ate her parents with ketchup.
Rob Blanc- A man with no equal in terms of savagery and cunning. He is a former solder that went insane during one of his routine patrols when he found out that his entire squad was murdered. The problem is that his squad was not murdered, they had simply chosen to stay at the base while Blanc went on a wild goose chance. He was relieved of his post at Bonn and transferred to an insane asylum where he plots to kill everyone in the entire world using only his teeth.
Paul Grewald- A random bum they authorities pulled off the streets in order to fill the last vacancy. He is pretty harmless except that he eats rats. So he is harmless to humans but not to rats.
Enemies
Guys with shotguns are the main bad guys. For some reason they have red eyes and pale skin, this has led me to the conclusion that they spend their entire time in doors playing video games. The rest of the enemies are rare and can take a little more damage but are basically the same.
Storyline
There is none. It is all mindless, endless slaughter. I love it when game designers and porn directors stop the crap and get right down to business.
Events
Quinn looks himself in the mirror, pondering the questions that keep him up at night, like if there is going to be milk tomorrow at launch.
Conclusion
There is no conclusion, there is only mindless, endless slaughter.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Story: An Unknown Soldier
December 18th, 2017.
Dear diary. Today, I was conscripted into the 3rd army. Apparently if you volunteer then you are signed to the 2nd army. If you are a payed soldier then you are in the 1st army. If you are, like me, a conscript then you go to the 3rd army. From what I gathered, they use the 3rd army for all major offensives, 2nd army for as defensive units and the 1st army as military police. The 3rd army is full of many people from many professions, though most were unemployed before they got drafted, like me. Had I known that they were conscripting all unemployed people, I would have volunteered. At least then I would have had gotten a decent weapon. We have to share a bolt-action rifle, made 50 or so years ago, between 2 people. I for one do not get a rifle. I got one hour training before they sent me here and most of the training was how to reload the rifle with ease. That was this morning. My hands are still sore. I have to hope that someone near me dies so I can get their rifle, otherwise I will have to rush the enemy bare fisted, since they have machine guns, I do not think it will be a fair fight.
December 19th, 2017.
Dear diary. Last night… it was a slaughter. We attacked as soon as it became night. We pushed forward. I kept trying to stay behind cover, holes created by artillery and fellow soldiers, like Lieutenant Rikrak had told us before the offensive began. No mans land is full of corpses at the moment. Most of the rifles were recovered. I now know how they decide who to promote in the 3rd army, they simply promote those who make it back with a rifle. I was promoted to corporal like everyone else with a rifle. In a way, I feel privileged. Fate has decided that I am worthy for now. When we came back from no mans land, Lieutenant Rikrak gave all corporals one clip. I guess it is unlikely that we will even use that clip. 5 bullets. It is more then enough considering the circumstances. Some of our soldiers stayed in the artillery holes after the retreat was called. They were shot by the enemy forces when they tried to make it back during the morning. I am sure there are more but they are smart enough to come back during the next offensive which will be tonight. We got lots of recruits today. The army seems to not be concentrating on the unemployed anymore. They are now mass conscripting homosexuals. I asked Lieutenant Rikrak why that was the case and he simply replied that Marshal Baktok considers them useless in the long run because they cannot have children. Lieutenant Rikrak also told me that Marshal Baktok has already started to conscript all people above the age of 50 who can walk and hold a gun. Lieutenant Rikrak told me that if someone has to die, it is better that the old die and not the young. Even though he was quoting Marshal Baktok, he made a good point. I do not know many more times I can survive this sort of thing.
December 20th, 2017.
Dear diary. Today’s offensive went well. The enemy attacked us before we them. Perhaps they thought we were low on manpower because we attacked them every night? It does not matter why they did it. We quickly overwhelmed them with an immediate counteroffensive before they could even reach half-way into no mans land. After we defeated the men who did not retreat, we proceeded onto the enemy trenches. The machine gunners were too busy trying not to hit their own retreating men to kill a significant number of us. When we got there we outnumbered them 2 to 1. Not even their artillery could stop us. We are invincible. Lieutenant Rikrak has told us that tonight we are not making an offensive. We can finally have a good sleep.
December 21st, 2017.
Dear diary. Today I have decided not to talk to anyone anymore. Every time I make a friend they die that night. I wish I could write about the funny moments I have had during these past 4 days but it only reminds me of the dead. I do not wish to remember the dead. 10 or so men were ordered to strip everything from the people who had died in no mans land. There were so many corpses it is unbelievable. The clothes, guns and everything else was given to those of us who didn’t not have enough supplies. We have captured some enemy guns and ammunition boxes but we sent them away. I now realise that I have not seen Lieutenant Rikrak smile once since I got here. I know why. I killed someone last night. I shot him at close range. Then I bashed his head in with my rifle butt just to be sure. Today I have more time to write but nothing has really happened except the occasional artillery barrage. Sometimes they score a hit, most times the miss our trench. It does not matter because every afternoon we get more recruits, hundreds more. Still not enough rifles to go around though.
December 22nd, 2017.
A massive counter-offensive was committed by the enemy. They managed to flush us out of our new trench and back into our old one. Because of the 2nd army which was stationed in our old trench, the enemy was not able to gain more ground then that. After the defeat the 2nd army also retreated to a trench behind ours. Lieutenant Rikrak told us that the 1st army will also be stationed in the trench behind ours so if we retreat from this trench we will be shot for treason. When we retreated from our new trench, we had to leave behind the wounded. I can still hear them calling for help.
December 23rd, 2017.
We made an offensive for the first time with artillery support. We attacked at midnight this time. I think half of them were asleep when we attacked. I was promoted to Sergent today. Everyone has been given one grenade and told that if you are surrounded by the enemy, you should pull the grenade. I remember when I was younger and counted days. Now I count hours. Every second I am alive I feel happy not to be dead. This diary has become my only means of escape. I have kept it with me even when I go into no mans land. If I die, I hope that someone finds this diary.
Dear diary. Today, I was conscripted into the 3rd army. Apparently if you volunteer then you are signed to the 2nd army. If you are a payed soldier then you are in the 1st army. If you are, like me, a conscript then you go to the 3rd army. From what I gathered, they use the 3rd army for all major offensives, 2nd army for as defensive units and the 1st army as military police. The 3rd army is full of many people from many professions, though most were unemployed before they got drafted, like me. Had I known that they were conscripting all unemployed people, I would have volunteered. At least then I would have had gotten a decent weapon. We have to share a bolt-action rifle, made 50 or so years ago, between 2 people. I for one do not get a rifle. I got one hour training before they sent me here and most of the training was how to reload the rifle with ease. That was this morning. My hands are still sore. I have to hope that someone near me dies so I can get their rifle, otherwise I will have to rush the enemy bare fisted, since they have machine guns, I do not think it will be a fair fight.
December 19th, 2017.
Dear diary. Last night… it was a slaughter. We attacked as soon as it became night. We pushed forward. I kept trying to stay behind cover, holes created by artillery and fellow soldiers, like Lieutenant Rikrak had told us before the offensive began. No mans land is full of corpses at the moment. Most of the rifles were recovered. I now know how they decide who to promote in the 3rd army, they simply promote those who make it back with a rifle. I was promoted to corporal like everyone else with a rifle. In a way, I feel privileged. Fate has decided that I am worthy for now. When we came back from no mans land, Lieutenant Rikrak gave all corporals one clip. I guess it is unlikely that we will even use that clip. 5 bullets. It is more then enough considering the circumstances. Some of our soldiers stayed in the artillery holes after the retreat was called. They were shot by the enemy forces when they tried to make it back during the morning. I am sure there are more but they are smart enough to come back during the next offensive which will be tonight. We got lots of recruits today. The army seems to not be concentrating on the unemployed anymore. They are now mass conscripting homosexuals. I asked Lieutenant Rikrak why that was the case and he simply replied that Marshal Baktok considers them useless in the long run because they cannot have children. Lieutenant Rikrak also told me that Marshal Baktok has already started to conscript all people above the age of 50 who can walk and hold a gun. Lieutenant Rikrak told me that if someone has to die, it is better that the old die and not the young. Even though he was quoting Marshal Baktok, he made a good point. I do not know many more times I can survive this sort of thing.
December 20th, 2017.
Dear diary. Today’s offensive went well. The enemy attacked us before we them. Perhaps they thought we were low on manpower because we attacked them every night? It does not matter why they did it. We quickly overwhelmed them with an immediate counteroffensive before they could even reach half-way into no mans land. After we defeated the men who did not retreat, we proceeded onto the enemy trenches. The machine gunners were too busy trying not to hit their own retreating men to kill a significant number of us. When we got there we outnumbered them 2 to 1. Not even their artillery could stop us. We are invincible. Lieutenant Rikrak has told us that tonight we are not making an offensive. We can finally have a good sleep.
December 21st, 2017.
Dear diary. Today I have decided not to talk to anyone anymore. Every time I make a friend they die that night. I wish I could write about the funny moments I have had during these past 4 days but it only reminds me of the dead. I do not wish to remember the dead. 10 or so men were ordered to strip everything from the people who had died in no mans land. There were so many corpses it is unbelievable. The clothes, guns and everything else was given to those of us who didn’t not have enough supplies. We have captured some enemy guns and ammunition boxes but we sent them away. I now realise that I have not seen Lieutenant Rikrak smile once since I got here. I know why. I killed someone last night. I shot him at close range. Then I bashed his head in with my rifle butt just to be sure. Today I have more time to write but nothing has really happened except the occasional artillery barrage. Sometimes they score a hit, most times the miss our trench. It does not matter because every afternoon we get more recruits, hundreds more. Still not enough rifles to go around though.
December 22nd, 2017.
A massive counter-offensive was committed by the enemy. They managed to flush us out of our new trench and back into our old one. Because of the 2nd army which was stationed in our old trench, the enemy was not able to gain more ground then that. After the defeat the 2nd army also retreated to a trench behind ours. Lieutenant Rikrak told us that the 1st army will also be stationed in the trench behind ours so if we retreat from this trench we will be shot for treason. When we retreated from our new trench, we had to leave behind the wounded. I can still hear them calling for help.
December 23rd, 2017.
We made an offensive for the first time with artillery support. We attacked at midnight this time. I think half of them were asleep when we attacked. I was promoted to Sergent today. Everyone has been given one grenade and told that if you are surrounded by the enemy, you should pull the grenade. I remember when I was younger and counted days. Now I count hours. Every second I am alive I feel happy not to be dead. This diary has become my only means of escape. I have kept it with me even when I go into no mans land. If I die, I hope that someone finds this diary.
Poem: A World so Small
Everyday the walls shrink ever smaller,
As my world grows ever larger,
Everything I see adds another layer,
Until anything I know does not matter.
As my world grows ever larger,
Everything I see adds another layer,
Until anything I know does not matter.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Poem: The Birds of Summer
The birds of summer are singing,
I can not help but keep thinking,
Of the year past and gone,
Of all the rights and the wrong,
That I have done,
And have been done upon.
Their sweat melody,
Reminds me of all the things,
That were not meant to be.
I can not help but keep thinking,
Of the year past and gone,
Of all the rights and the wrong,
That I have done,
And have been done upon.
Their sweat melody,
Reminds me of all the things,
That were not meant to be.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Story: The Madman’s Sanity
There is no such thing as Australia. I know this because I live here. Sorry, I cannot speak English. I am in a room of white! I am wearing a white cloth. This must be that heaven I have been hearing about. Suddenly the door opens and a man in white comes in. I realise it is not heaven because other people are there. When I see him I feel like crying but hold my tears back and let out a deep sigh. “Do you understand what is going on?” I nod “We are going to keep you here until we see signs that you are getting better” I nod again. He leaves me to my little white room. It might small, only 5 by 4 metres, but it is cosy. I get out of bed and stretch.
There is a big mirror on the other side of the room. Since I can see my lower waist, I consider pulling out my penis and comparing how long it is with my reflection. Me and my reflection are good friends, we have been through hell together. Reflection, shadow and me. The 3 musketeers! Unfortunately my shadow has not visited me lately. I don’t think he has forgotten, I just think he is not allowed through the front doors by the guards. Poor shadow, he is just misunderstood, that’s all! Reflection is good but not as interesting as shadow. Shadow is great at hide and go seek but reflection always hides in the same spot. No matter how many times I tell him he doesn’t listen to me. He can be kind of a cretin sometimes since he always copies me when I am being serious. Enough about shadow and reflection.
This was my first time in the white room. I would have liked it if they didn’t include a door so people couldn’t simply walk in here when they felt like it. They don’t understand privacy. They are a bunch of savages. I only act pleasant in front of the men in white so they do not bite my head off. I bet they are cannibals. I bet they would love my juicy meat! To hell with them! I must prepare the defences immediately.
I wait for it to get dark and then I put my plan into action. I must not let reflection know of what I am doing otherwise he might get worried and tell the guards. I slowly put my blanket over the bottom of the side of the bed facing the mirror so that reflection cannot see under the bed. I slowly move my pillow to the middle of the bed and take off my clothes carefully. I then put my clothes where my pillow was. I then move and fall down the side of the bed not facing the mirror, which is facing a window. The window does not open and is probably too thick to break with my bare flesh. I am finally out of sight. Now what do I do? Damn! I didn’t expect to get this far. I give up my pursuit and return to bed. Tomorrow I shall gain some supplies before committing myself to another expedition. The shall feel my wrath!
There is a big mirror on the other side of the room. Since I can see my lower waist, I consider pulling out my penis and comparing how long it is with my reflection. Me and my reflection are good friends, we have been through hell together. Reflection, shadow and me. The 3 musketeers! Unfortunately my shadow has not visited me lately. I don’t think he has forgotten, I just think he is not allowed through the front doors by the guards. Poor shadow, he is just misunderstood, that’s all! Reflection is good but not as interesting as shadow. Shadow is great at hide and go seek but reflection always hides in the same spot. No matter how many times I tell him he doesn’t listen to me. He can be kind of a cretin sometimes since he always copies me when I am being serious. Enough about shadow and reflection.
This was my first time in the white room. I would have liked it if they didn’t include a door so people couldn’t simply walk in here when they felt like it. They don’t understand privacy. They are a bunch of savages. I only act pleasant in front of the men in white so they do not bite my head off. I bet they are cannibals. I bet they would love my juicy meat! To hell with them! I must prepare the defences immediately.
I wait for it to get dark and then I put my plan into action. I must not let reflection know of what I am doing otherwise he might get worried and tell the guards. I slowly put my blanket over the bottom of the side of the bed facing the mirror so that reflection cannot see under the bed. I slowly move my pillow to the middle of the bed and take off my clothes carefully. I then put my clothes where my pillow was. I then move and fall down the side of the bed not facing the mirror, which is facing a window. The window does not open and is probably too thick to break with my bare flesh. I am finally out of sight. Now what do I do? Damn! I didn’t expect to get this far. I give up my pursuit and return to bed. Tomorrow I shall gain some supplies before committing myself to another expedition. The shall feel my wrath!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Review: Halloween Harry
Introduction
A game set in the distant future, based on a madman who goes around office buildings, factories, sewers and an alien mother ship while slaughtering hundreds of thousands of innocents. This madman goes by the name Halloween Harry.
Gameplay
Classical side scroll except instead of jumping, you fly. This might sound cool but you can’t even get around an office building without a jetpack which brings into question the competence of architects in the future.
Characters
Harry Halloween- A madman with a flamethrower and a jetpack. Sometimes carries around grenades and nuclear weapons. Should be taken seriously. Dead seriously.
Jennet- Harry’s first victim. During the course of the game he falls in love with her but eventually kills her and eats her because she didn’t cower the way he wanted her to.
Jana- Glowing purple eyes, dead yellow hair and a zombie complexion! What’s not to love about her appearance? Everything according to Harry who shoots her every time he sees her. She always comes back looking for him, even after he has cooked her with a flamethrower or blown her up with a missile. She just can’t seem to get the message.
Enemies
Ordinary civilians. Green office workers. Green factory workers. Green sewer workers. Alien soldiers. The usual.
Storyline
Basically you go around levels executing women that Harry had previously tied up but now wants to make sure they never tell anyone about the terror they experienced because of the madman known as Halloween Harry.
Events
Harry nearly falls over an edge! He later kills all of the architects in his time zone with a rusty hatchet.
Conclusion
Sometimes it’s annoying because you have to find every woman to proceed to the next level and sometimes they are behind cover so you can’t see them at all! Other then that, it’s great!
A game set in the distant future, based on a madman who goes around office buildings, factories, sewers and an alien mother ship while slaughtering hundreds of thousands of innocents. This madman goes by the name Halloween Harry.
Gameplay
Classical side scroll except instead of jumping, you fly. This might sound cool but you can’t even get around an office building without a jetpack which brings into question the competence of architects in the future.
Characters
Harry Halloween- A madman with a flamethrower and a jetpack. Sometimes carries around grenades and nuclear weapons. Should be taken seriously. Dead seriously.
Jennet- Harry’s first victim. During the course of the game he falls in love with her but eventually kills her and eats her because she didn’t cower the way he wanted her to.
Jana- Glowing purple eyes, dead yellow hair and a zombie complexion! What’s not to love about her appearance? Everything according to Harry who shoots her every time he sees her. She always comes back looking for him, even after he has cooked her with a flamethrower or blown her up with a missile. She just can’t seem to get the message.
Enemies
Ordinary civilians. Green office workers. Green factory workers. Green sewer workers. Alien soldiers. The usual.
Storyline
Basically you go around levels executing women that Harry had previously tied up but now wants to make sure they never tell anyone about the terror they experienced because of the madman known as Halloween Harry.
Events
Harry nearly falls over an edge! He later kills all of the architects in his time zone with a rusty hatchet.
Conclusion
Sometimes it’s annoying because you have to find every woman to proceed to the next level and sometimes they are behind cover so you can’t see them at all! Other then that, it’s great!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Story: The Snake Logan Legacy
Snake Logan’s origins are humble. He was the son of the demon god, Akbara, lord of destruction.Unlike the rest of Akbara’s offspring, Snake Logan was fortunate enough not to be eaten by his demon father. Snake Logan was to be rescued by a former Nazi scientist who had gone to hell but managed to come back to the surface after sacrificing his already damned soul for a peanut which he bargained to Satan for more time on earth.
For decades the scientist used Snake Logan as an experiment so he would embrace the throne of the lord of destruction. Snake Logan slowly mutated from a one headed green thing into a masculine manly man with a green top.
After several decades of mutilation and experimentation, Snake Logan escaped from the lab and learnt to speak the English language fluently while the scientist was away buying groceries.
For several decades, Snake Logan laid on the couch of his new girlfriend, Lucy. He enjoyed pizza a lot so he usually fell asleep in a lot of tomato sauce.
Sometimes Snake Logan and Lucy went on walks but she would have back spasms and would have to be marched at gunpoint or become unconscious to survive Snake Logan’s drunken wrath.
Snake Logan joins the CIA because, in his own words “The FBI is for commies and transvestites”.
Snake Logan’s gets a phone call from his CIA supervisor. Bio Menace 1 begins…
Friday, December 7, 2007
Review: Bio Menace
Introduction
Though the game caused controversy when it was released sometime in the 1990s for its Nazi symbolism, it has become a favourite to imbecilic imbeciles and moronic morons alike. Both groups I can proudly say I am apart of.
Gameplay
You can jump, run, shoot, up, down, left and right your way throughout 33 unique levels!
Characters
Snake Logan
Not much is known about Snake Logan except that enjoys long meaningful walks and Nazi rallies.
Tom and Bill
Tom and Bill are hardworking police officers and the first characters the player encounters in the game. Tom and Bill are close, some say too close.
Lucy
The love of Snake Logan’s life. She and him have been married since their teen years. She also enjoy the occasional Nazi rally.
Pete
Pete is a distant cousin of Snake Logan. Some say he is anorexic but he denies it.
Max
A man who sleeps in the street. He wears the same clothes as Snake Logan so many assume that he is either a dedicated fan or a clone.
Enemies
Your main enemies are purple blobs, green blobs and robot blobs. The small purple blobs are the worst because the crawl on the ground and gather filth so then they attack Snake, he gets all dirty. The green blobs are not so bad but they tend to beat you up a lot, Snake was heavily bullied as a kid so these green blobs might be a reincarnation of his worst nightmares and experiences, you know, like in Silent Hill 2 or something. Robot blobs are annoying. Some are big, slow and shoot missiles with cute little parachutes. Others are small and bounce around. All enemies are deadly.
Storyline
The game has a deep storyline evolving Snake’s love for Lucy and his fetish for bondage. He encounters a tide up person on every level and he gets enjoyment by tickling them with a feather. Sometimes those people are men so if you have any objections to man love, do not play this game!
Events
A Nazi dinner party attended by Snake, Lucy, Pete and Max. Tom and Bill could not attend for they had previous engagements.
Snake Logan addressing a crowd of Nazis from a rooftop.
Conclusion
Politics aside, the game was very fulfilling.
Though the game caused controversy when it was released sometime in the 1990s for its Nazi symbolism, it has become a favourite to imbecilic imbeciles and moronic morons alike. Both groups I can proudly say I am apart of.
Gameplay
You can jump, run, shoot, up, down, left and right your way throughout 33 unique levels!
Characters
Snake Logan
Not much is known about Snake Logan except that enjoys long meaningful walks and Nazi rallies.
Tom and Bill
Tom and Bill are hardworking police officers and the first characters the player encounters in the game. Tom and Bill are close, some say too close.
Lucy
The love of Snake Logan’s life. She and him have been married since their teen years. She also enjoy the occasional Nazi rally.
Pete
Pete is a distant cousin of Snake Logan. Some say he is anorexic but he denies it.
Max
A man who sleeps in the street. He wears the same clothes as Snake Logan so many assume that he is either a dedicated fan or a clone.
Enemies
Your main enemies are purple blobs, green blobs and robot blobs. The small purple blobs are the worst because the crawl on the ground and gather filth so then they attack Snake, he gets all dirty. The green blobs are not so bad but they tend to beat you up a lot, Snake was heavily bullied as a kid so these green blobs might be a reincarnation of his worst nightmares and experiences, you know, like in Silent Hill 2 or something. Robot blobs are annoying. Some are big, slow and shoot missiles with cute little parachutes. Others are small and bounce around. All enemies are deadly.
Storyline
The game has a deep storyline evolving Snake’s love for Lucy and his fetish for bondage. He encounters a tide up person on every level and he gets enjoyment by tickling them with a feather. Sometimes those people are men so if you have any objections to man love, do not play this game!
Events
A Nazi dinner party attended by Snake, Lucy, Pete and Max. Tom and Bill could not attend for they had previous engagements.
Snake Logan addressing a crowd of Nazis from a rooftop.
Conclusion
Politics aside, the game was very fulfilling.
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